Sibling Rivalry My friend Amy posted a couple videos of her sons, Elliot and Ben, showcasing their dancing skills to Lady Gaga's Bad Romance on YouTube. Since then, Ben has been completely obsessed with how many hits it has and how quickly it will go "viral". Elliott? He just seems to be along for the ride on this one. And as of a couple of days ago, the hit-counter for both videos sat at an even 40 hits each. Therein lies the problem.

Unbeknownst to Amy, I asked my friend to post both videos on his personal blog. He has thousands of disturbed followers to the extent his blog could qualify for tax-exempt status. Since he posted Elliott's video first by complete happenstance, it naturally received the most hits by default.


According to Amy, the following is a conversation she had earlier today:

Ben: Mom, can you check Youtube and see how many hits I have today?

Amy: What? You’re six. Aren’t you supposed to be playing with Legos and fighting your little brother?

Ben: I’ve done that already. I wanna see if I’ve got more hits than Elliott.

Amy: Seriously, Ben, it’s not a competition.

Ben: Yes, it is! I told all my classmates to check out my Lady Gaga dance video! I wanna see if they did.

Amy: You told your classmates?

Ben: Yeah. Wolfgang, Joey, Samir, AND Luca!

Amy: Okay, okay. Let’s see.

         Wow, 508!

Ben: Really??? What about Elliott? How many hits does HE have???

Amy: Woah, 932!

Ben: Incredulously, “ARE YOU SERIOUS? He didn’t even TELL anybody! How is that EVEN possible?"

Amy: He’s five Ben. He doesn’t care and neither should you…

Ben: Man, I’ve gotta find a new way for this to get more hits…


Ben: Mom?

Amy: Yes, John McEnroe?

Ben: Do you think Lady Gaga has seen it yet??? Wait! Who is John, and does HE watch YouTube?

Amy: ...

Ben: Hey, Mom?

Amy: ...

Ben: How many COMMENTS does Elliott have?

Amy: ...

As always, I am here to help. Amy was basically my roommate through most of college, we go back a long time, this much I know. But at the same time, I need to take into consideration that she was the one that had the bright idea of buying that hamster. Then there was also the time she asked to borrow a pair of my jeans since she had gained some weight recently, and totally acted like it was because she loved the jeans and not because she had gained some weight and could now fit into them. And did I ever tell you about the time...

Nevermind, I am not one to hold petty grudges. As such, I will let all of you (yes, all 20 of you) decide the outcome:

1. Click on Elliot's video if you think Amy deserves her current lot in life (as well as for the next 12 years). Also, if you think that Amy should gain some weight.

2. Click on Ben's video if you think Amy should be relieved of having to personally contact Lady Gaga and John McEnroe to get them to watch Ben's video AND leave a comment. Also, if you think that Amy should gain some weight.

As for me? I still fit in those jeans Amy needed to gain some weight to wear. Not that it is important or anything. This is totally about the kids and THEIR rivalry. I am just sayin', is all.