Yesterday's Facebook IPO fell far short of its hyped expectations with underwriters spending most of the day defending the stock from falling below its IPO price of $38. Perhaps the lack of enthusiasm has something to do with its valuation of at least 100 times earnings. Or maybe because General Motors recently stopped advertising on Facebook because it wasn't getting the results it expected. Or that Goldman Sachs planned to sell large chunks of the their holdings in the IPO, making some potential investors suspicious that Wall Street insiders were up to their usual tricks of making a quick buck billion and then jumping ship. You THINK?

But I'm moderately confident all this criticism is short-sighted. Let's not forget about the immeasurable possibilities of 900 million users clicking on ads -- even if by accident it still counts. Or the brilliance of a business model that relies on not just its members connecting with family, friends, colleagues, and people they've never even met...but the communal responsibility we all share in watering someone's imaginary crops while they're out of town. Farms are people too, you know.

Regardless, it's clear Facebook will need some HALP going forward. And as always, I'm here to provide just that. Facebook, meet your new spokesperson

Facebook IPO and Old Spice spokesperson